Lots of Holidays and a Blessing Tree

Friday, November 27, 2009

Thanksgiving, probably one of my favorite holidays, is over. The day was well enjoyed, even with sick children, and thus the last minute change of plans. We still had a great dinner and had the chance to help our daughters practice our rituals of gratitude. 


I enjoy Thanksgiving. To me it seems a holiday with no cultural hang-ups. It may have a varied history, pilgrims or Lincoln, secular, spiritual, whatever. What I appreciate about Thanksgiving is that it seems to be the holiday Americans live out the most. Regardless of religious background, political persuasion, or cultural history, this day is one where everyone goes out of their way to be together, to share food, to practice gratitude. I love that this holiday is the one that immigrants so widely embrace and bring their own cultural flavor to. I love that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the Sunday after are two of the busiest travel days in this country. In fact, I remember traveling from Boston to LA after 9/11. I was grateful to be able to travel again, that the country was taking the first steps to put itself back together again, but was saddened a bit by how empty the airports and the airplanes were.


But now Thanksgiving has passed and the next round of rituals go into place. This is the big one. The winter holidays begin. Well, for my family, this is Christmas time. Unfortunately, Christmas feels more intellectually and spiritually challenging. Don't worry, this isn't a dig on Christmas. I loved Christmas, as a kid, and now that I have children, I really love it. It's definitely a time for magic. I am, without a doubt, a huge fan of the secular christmas (yes, little "c"). I even believe in Santa Claus. 


Yet, as I got older, and more mindful of the religious significance of Christmas it became too disingenuous for me. I even have a hard time with so many of the carols. As beautiful as they are, it sometimes feels odd to sing such Christian music, when I am not one. As a lay Buddhist and now Unitarian Universalist, there seemed something wrong with participating in a holiday tradition with so much Christian importance, yet I wasn't quite ready to give up Christmas. I love the giving of gifts, I love the generosity that is inspired by the seasons.


So, taking the Unitarian Universalist side more seriously, a number of years ago I put serious thought into this time of year. What is meaningful, for me and others, about this time of year? What are the metaphors that our cultural histories give us for this darkest time of year? 


The winter solstice is around the corner. Its not just the shortest day of the year. It's a turning point. It's a time, by my personal calendar, when the year begins again. Our natural world (at least here in New England) is covered in a frosting of glistening ice. My buddhist lessons were giving me greater appreciation of the simplicity of natures metaphors. 


Given the darkness of the time, how much I miss the light, and how grouchy I can be in the deepness of winter, I actually find myself seeking out anything to be grateful for. Any blessings I can find are important and wonderful. And that's when it all came together. 


A way to help keep the holiday simple, bring light into my home, acknowledge my own history (growing up with Christmas), and create some new rituals for blessings. Welcome our blessing tree. Something I've been doing now for about 10 years. And with the girls all excited about the next few holidays, Cynthia and I decided that the this post Thanksgiving weekend would be a great time to start our ritual decorating and preparation. 


The Blessing Tree is decorated simply, with white lights and lots of ribbons. On the ribbons are written our blessings for the year. When friends come to the house, we ask that everyone add to the tree. They can write a blessing, a poem, joke, or even just their name on a ribbon and add it to the tree. This way, the blessings of the people, ideas, and experiences in our lives become part of the tree. When I got married and started to have a family, we've continued with the tradition. Now, instead of pulling out ornaments (those get used around the house instead), we pull out our bag of blessings.  We get to read them, tie them to the tree decorate the tree not with fancy trimmings but the expressions of our lives. Each year we add new blessings to the tree.


Thanks for letting me share this little winter ritual of our family, as we count down these last nights to Winter. May you enjoy the last few days of the dark. It's just 23 days to the Solstice, 14 days to Chanukah (I love that it's the Festival of Light, at a time when we so need it), December 8th is the Bodhi Day (celebrating Buddha's day of enlightenment), the Islamic new year is on the 18th, and yes just 27 days to till Christmas.